As soon as he heard Steve was ex-military he latched on to it with his own excuse laden, but epic tale of hardship. Steve imagines him talking as he sips the cold water. The voice he adds high pitched and mockingly stupid, like a cartoon character:

Tommy: I love to train, I spend most of my time in the gym. While everyone else is at home wasting time playing Xbox I’m pumping iron, eating right, sculpting my body. I tried to get into the army but they refused me when I failed the medical exam. Apparently I have epilepsy, I never had a seizure in my life until they started flashing fucking lights in my face. Simple solution then, don’t flash lights at me and I’d be perfectly fine, idiots.

I’ll try again next year but for now