I’ll just work out and train my body to be the best it can be. I’ll probably get refused again but on paper I’ll be a perfect soldier. Maybe they will call me up and apologise in the event of a war when they see my stats on Call of Duty. I’m even thinking of taking flying lessons with my friend Kenny. Kenny is so awesome. Kenny is a pilot. Kenny is my best friend.

Steve just stands there looking back blankly as Tommy continues to signal for help. His hand waving away in flaps of ever decreasing enthusiasm as he realises that it’s not happening. Looking down to his own hand, he notices that he has unconsciously taken out his phone and begun to make a call. As if on auto pilot. Walking towards the door he shakes his head while labelling the behaviour: