imagination so I could feel the moment more.

I think that is an important distinction between my usage and that of a regular addict. It seems that distractions from life, drugs, alcohol, TV, computer games etc are all really just a way to get away from life.

Maybe because it’s too difficult for most people. I was in a way making it more real, sharper, and harsher. I wanted to feel exactly how hard it could be right down to the level that it burned. Or maybe that’s just a complex excuse?

AA meetings are probably full of conversations like this…

He puts down the pen and flicks back one or two pages to a previous entry from a few days back. He was getting used to revisiting his musings now and reads the entry: